


My Mind Won't Stop

by moviegeek03



Series: Tarlos Week 2020 [1]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt Carlos Reyes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Tarlos Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moviegeek03/pseuds/moviegeek03
Summary: It had been an awful day. Full of triggers, stress, and so much anxiety. Carlos just needed to be with TK. To remind himself that TK was okay. That everything was fine. Too bad TK wasn't around just yet. He guessed he would have to settle for waiting. And maybe with something that would remind him of his boyfriend. Because he really needed reminders of TK right now.Tarlos Week 2020 Day 1:  “Are you wearing my hoodie?” + Fluff
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Tarlos Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1942996
Comments: 6
Kudos: 167





	My Mind Won't Stop

**Author's Note:**

> So this is probably more angst than fluff...but if you've read my works before that shouldn't come as a huge shock. I hope you enjoy this! First time trying to write more of a hurt Carlos spin for a story.

To say the day had been rough…would be an understatement. Things had gone from bad to worse to, well, whatever it was Carlos was currently feeling. His skin felt tight. He knew he was shaking. His hands weren’t gripping the steering wheel of his car well. He was too jittery. His eyes weren’t focusing on the road either. He just kept seeing red.

It had been everywhere.

Splattered on the wall.

_Just like last time…_

He shook his head and blinked hard. He couldn’t go there. Not yet. He needed to focus on the road. He needed to go see TK. He knew that much. He had to go. Had to get there.

He needed to see TK.

He was lucky that he had driven the route between the station and TK’s house enough times over the past months to not need to be overly attentive. His head was still back at the last crime scene. That scene that wasn’t going to leave his mind any time soon.

It was supposed to be simple. A potential break in across town. Carlos and his partner, Andy, weren’t that far. A kid had called it in. It was just him and his older sister home; their parents were out for date night. They heard noises around their apartment and feared the worst. It sounded easy enough.

It was far from it.

The kid was spooked. They didn’t hear the officers yell. Carlos couldn’t stop Andy from busting down the door. His partner was still green. Still too eager sometimes. They should have waited.

The sound of a gunshot echoed through the hallway, startling both officers. The shock of it all masked the immediate realization of what was happening. It happened so fast. One minute they were standing there. The next, well, the next moment things had all gone to hell.

_Just like last time…_

Only this time, it was his partner taking a bullet thanks to a scared kid who stumbled across his daddy’s gun. This time it was his partner dropping down with a curse as the bullet went through his calf.

But all Carlos could see…

Well all he saw was TK. The images of TK dropping in the hall. Of his blood splattered everywhere. Of the red staining everything…

Carlos shook himself and turned onto a familiar road. He reminded himself Andy was fine. The bullet didn’t do any major damage. But he just couldn’t stop seeing the blood.

_It just reminded him too much of TK’s blood…_

He found himself pulling up outside of the Strand household. It was getting late. He knew TK and his dad were off for the night. He just hoped neither would mind him showing up. He didn’t think about how late it was. He just wanted to see TK. Needed to see him.

He turned his engine off. Wait, no, the police cruiser’s engine. He didn’t realize he was still driving it. He would have to message his sergeant later and return it in the morning. He sighed. He looked down, realizing he was still in his uniform. The same uniform that was now stained. He hadn’t had a chance to deal with anything. He had spent the last few hours dealing with paperwork, taking and providing statements, fielding questions from his superiors, checking up on Andy, starting at the spots of blood on his uniform…

He stepped out of the car before he could dwell on that too much.

He walked up the path to the house. There were lights shining through the windows. He rushed toward the door and knocked before he could second guess himself. It only took a minute for Owen to appear in the doorway. He was in a robe and pajamas already. It must have been later than he realized.

“Carlos?”

“Um, hi Captain Strand.” He shifted nervously. “Is, is TK home?”

“He just ran to the pharmacy for me to pick up a prescription before they close. He should be back soon.” Owen looked him up and down. His eyes focused on the stain. “Carlos? Are you okay?” His hands were on him suddenly, pulling him inside. “I heard on the radios earlier about a break in across town. We were coming off shift and another house took the call. Were you there? Are you okay?”

Carlos’s head spun at all the questions, but he allowed Owen to pull him inside and into the living room. “I’m okay.” _I’m not._ “I’m not hurt. Um…it was my partner. I was just there.” _Again._

Owen squeezed Carlos’s shoulder and gave him a look. “That had to be hard.” He nudged Carlos toward the kitchen. He pushed him onto the barstool and turned around to grab a water from the fridge. “Here. Drink this for right now. I’ll make you a tea.”

“I’m fi—“

“Kid,” Owen gave him a stern look, “you’re shaking.” He handed him the water. “What’s going on? What happened on that call?”

Carlos bit his lip. “Um, the shooter was a kid.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Owen’s reaction. “He was scared. His dad’s gun wasn’t properly locked up. Andy kicked in the door and didn’t wait on me to try to get the kids’ attention first. He thought we were breaking in so shot.”

“That sounds like a rough night.” Owen sat down beside him at the bar. “It also sounds pretty damn familiar.”

Carlos felt Owen’s hand on his back, rubbing circles gently. “Yeah. It was.” He rubbed at his eyes.

“I take it that it brought you back to when TK was shot?”  


Carlos swallowed thickly. He nodded, not trusting his voice.

Owen squeezed his shoulder once more. “How about this…why don’t you head into TK’s room and change out of your uniform. I’m sure you know where everything is. He should be back soon. I’m sure that will help you. Seeing him.”

“Yeah…I—shit! I’m so sorry. I know it’s late but—“

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you came. He will be too,” Owen stood up and nudged Carlos to his feet. “Go on. I’ll send him in once he gets here.”

  
“Are you sure?”

“Carlos, are you going to be able to get any rest? Unless you see him?” Carlos blushed at that. “What I thought.” Owen smiled at him warmly. “I get it. Go on. Get out of that uniform before he gets here. Seeing that blood…that’ll give him a heart attack.”

Carlos snorted. “Probably right. Okay. Okay.” He shuffled down the hall to TK’s bedroom, closing the door behind him. He breathed in the familiar scent of his boyfriend once inside. It wasn’t as good as his boyfriend, but it was something. He moved toward the dresser near the bed, taking Owen’s words to hear. He knew he had to look a wreck. He didn’t want to worry TK.

He found a pair of basketball shorts that would probably fit. Close enough at least. He slipped out of his ruined pants and into them. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw it onto the floor. He would deal with it later. He looked around for a shirt. Most of TK’s tees would be too tight on his shoulders. He sighed. He was about to give up when he caught a familiar object on the edge of TK’s bed.

His hoodie…

Well, one of his many hoodies.

It was a plain grey one. Maybe the one TK had worn the night of the solar flares. Carlos wasn’t sure. He picked it up and brought it to his face. It smelled of his boyfriend’s cologne. He sat down on the edge of the bed and slipped it over his head. The fabric was soft and warm against him.

_It was perfect._

He let himself fall back against the bed and closed his eyes. Just for a moment. For the first time that night, he felt like he could breathe, surrounded by TK’s space. His scent.

The bed dipped. Carlos didn’t know how much time past, but he opened his eyes to the best sight he could have hoped for that night.

“Hey.”

Carlos shifted toward the voice.

“Dad said you would be back here.” TK laid down beside him and pulled him close. Carlos followed, laying his head close to TK’s chest. He could hear his heart beat. He let himself relax in a way he hadn’t been able to all day.

Not since the call to the last crime scene.

Not since all the blood…

“Hey? Are you okay?” Carlos felt TK’s hand on the side of his face, caressing him softly. “Rough day?”

“Mmm,” Carlos leaned into the touch. “Sorta.”

“What happened?” TK ran his fingers through Carlos’s now messy hair. He could feel TK playing gently with the now loose curls. “If you can tell me.”

Carlos sighed. “Yeah. Just…my partner got shot tonight. He’s okay. Well, he will be at least.”

“God, that sounds rough.”

Carlos snorted. “Well, it kind of gets worse.” Carlos opened his eyes and met TK’s gaze. “It was a kid. Freaked out. Thought we were the people he called in for breaking into his house. Shot when Andy kicked down the door.”

“Oh.” Understanding flashed across TK’s face. He moved his hand down to Carlos’s waist and pulled him close. “I’m sorry.”

Carlos shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Just…was a lot.”

TK shifted closer. “It reminded you of what happened to me.” It wasn’t a question; just a sad statement. Carlos looked up and nodded. He felt tears in his eyes and looked away. “Hey, I’m here. It’s okay.” He squeezed Carlos’s waist.

“I know. I promise.” Carlos reached up and wrapped his arms around TK in return. “Just…kind of took me back.”

TK nodded. His hands continued to toy with the hoodie Carlos wore. “How much did you see? On that night?”

Carlos swallowed thickly. They hadn’t talked about that before. Not really. “Um, I wasn’t…I wasn’t there when you were shot. I was still out front. But once we heard the gunshot…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So I saw. Most of it. I guess.” Carlos looked down at the bed.

“I’m so sorry.”

Carlos shook his head. “No. Don’t be. Not your fault. At all.”

“Still. I’m sorry it brought that back.” TK leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Carlos’s lips. Carlos leaned in and let himself relax against TK. He didn’t say anything. Just laid there. TK followed his lead. For awhile at least. Some time later, he finally shifted under Carlos and spoke up. “Did you eat?”

“Um…lunch?”

TK huffed a laugh at that reply. “You don’t sound so sure of that.”

“It’s been a day…”

“Fair,” TK replied. He squeezed Carlos’s waist. “How about I fix us something?”

Carlos’s eyes snapped open and looked at TK. “For real? You don’t cook.”

“I do too,” TK all but whined, earning a raised eyebrow from Carlos. “Okay, I don’t do it a ton, but think I can figure out something for us. Maybe some eggs?”

Carlos couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah…that sounds good.”

TK shifted and sat up. “Come on.” He pulled Carlos off the bed. He staggered and all but fell into TK’s arms. “I’ve got you. Easy.”

“Sorry…just tired.”

TK helped him straighten and ran his hands up and down Carlos’s arms. “It’s been a long day.” He squeezed his biceps. “It’s okay.” He leaned up on his toes to give his boyfriend a kiss. His arms settled around his shoulders and pulled him close.

“Thank you,” Carlos sighed.

TK pulled away far enough to smile. He nodded and grabbed Carlos’s hand to lead him back toward the kitchen. As they walked, TK suddenly laughed.

“What?” Carlos asked.

“I just realized…are you wearing my hoodie?”

Carlos looked down, blushing. “Um, yeah. I just…my uniform had blood on it. And,” he rubbed the back fo his neck, “I just kind of needing something that reminded me of you tonight.” He squeezed TK’s hand. “I hope that is okay…”

“Of course.” TK tugged on his hand to get him moving toward the kitchen again. Owen wasn’t in sight, having apparently retreated to his own room to give the boys space. “Always welcome to use them.”

Carlos gave him a grateful smile.

“Now sit.” TK pushed him back toward the barstools. “And let me cook for you.”

Carlos smiled and felt emotions well up at the way TK was trying to care for him. They were still new to this whole relationship thing, but it suited TK more than the man was willing to admit. For that, Carlos was eternally grateful. He wanted to share all of that…and more…with his boyfriend. But tonight wasn’t the time. Not when he was so anxious. So tired. So frayed.

Instead, he sat on the nearest barstool and let TK gather ingredients and things from the fridge.

“Just don’t burn down your dad’s kitchen,” he teased.

But what he really thought, what he really meant, held so much more. He threaded his arms through the hoodie’s front pocket and watched TK fondly. He let himself fully relax and savor the moment. It was a reminder that things would be okay. Eventually. Carlos let his eyes shut as TK started talking and cooking. He breathed in the scent of TK’s cologne again.

_Thank you for being here. For being with me._

_I love you so much…_


End file.
